Myspace. Bebo. Hi5. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Snapchat. Our generation truly has lived through the evolution of Social Media. And so it’s fitting that most of us can (rather effortlessly) create, share and post when it comes to using these platforms on our devices.

Muzmatch is the fastest-growing app for finding Arab and Muslim women. Download the app to start viewing profiles, browsing photos and sending messages. Nevertheless, Muzmatch users are still often embarrassed to admit that they use the app. There are roughly 100 users who leave the app each day, for the reason that they found someone on it whom. MuzMatch.com is a subscription rip-off and seems to use fictional profiles to stimulate users to get a paid membership. Automated messages are used to persuade new users to get a subscription which will extend automatically. Former members say that it is not possible to meet one real person here because it is a fake chat.

I recently joined Muzmatch (lol) and I’ve been sharing my rather dubious journey using the app in previous posts. Although it’s still early days I was ready to deactivate my account and never think of it again. But there was one thing that kept dragging me back…the Muzmatch profiles.

At the time of joining, Muzmatch requires users to complete a ‘more about me’ section. This includes writing a profile and status message. Doing this gives users a chance to formally introduce themselves, say what they do, what they’re interested in, what they’re looking for…all that sort of stuff. The status message on the other hand, appears at the top of your images and should be ‘short, catchy or funny…to capture someone’s imagination!’ *puke*

So as you can imagine, this profile, along with your images, provides for potential spouses a first glimpse into who you are and of course, if you’re worth contacting. So of course, getting this all right is key. After all, you know what they – first impressions truly do count. But what happens when profiles are absolutely hilarious…for all the wrong reasons? Readers, I give you the Best of Muzmatch Profiles. *Witch cackles*

Disclaimer: The extracts that feature in this post are from genuine Muzmatch accounts. Although I provide some brilliant commentary I really do wish all these guys the best in their searches.

Exhibit A: The Not-so Wolf of Wall Steet

• Hi beautiful lady’s I’m just looking for someone who can spend my money and enjoy life with me. Good luck. 🙂

Expert psychoanalytical commentary: Sorry, I didn’t realise I applied for Millionaire Matchmaker. Please, please, let me marry you. I live for your credit card. You may have done well in your career to have earnt so much money, but there’s one thing money can’t buy – an ability to apply basic grammar skills to your own profile.

Exhibit B: The Lady Killer

• Looking for someone that has good character…holds strong values and acts like a lady. If we match I don’t expect to ask you to unlock your picture, please be courteous and do it straight away.

Expert psychoanalytical commentary: Is binge-watching Netflix in my PJs on a Sunday afternoon lady-enough for you? I like this guy’s confidence though – he’s assuming we’re all gonna swipe right and allow him to immediately make a judgement on whether we’re worth his time. Based on whether we look hot enough for him. Ok.

Exhibit C: The Showstopper

Muzmatch Female Profiles Images

• Well what am i supposed to say. Looking to find a partner. Im not educated to degree level and I love eating. Im 5ft6 i think. Erm enjoy watching movies, going out to eat, driving to different places. Doing activities.

Expert psychoanalytical commentary: This guy sounds like a keeper. I love the lack of capital letters, apostrophes and the use of ‘Erm’ as a sentence starter. Yes, I’m being mean. Fine, I’ll also stop now.

Oh wait. Let me just leave you with this ultimate status message…

Is your name WiFi? Coz Im really feeling a connection.

…who said romance is dead?

With Love,

Muzmatch Profiles Examples

UAG x